Will Rogers

Will Rogers

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing -- and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.

On account of us being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

People love high ideals, but they got to be about 33-percent plausible.

Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison.

Noah must have taken into the Ark two taxes, one male and one female. And did they multiply bountifully! Next to guinea pigs, taxes must have been the most prolific animals.

Our Constitution protects aliens, drunks, and U.S. senators.

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.

There ought to be one day - just one - where there is open season on senators.

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

There ought to be one day-- just one-- when there is open season on senators.

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.

I was not a child prodigy, because a child prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up.

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.

If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a week.

An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.

Politics is applesauce.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

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