Voltaire
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
"Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills.
It is an infantile superstition of the human spirit that virginity would be thought a virtue and not the barrier that separates ignorance from knowledge
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it.
If God created us in his own image, we have more than reciprocated.
England has forty-two religions and only two sauces.
Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills.
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
When it is a question of money, everyone is of the same religion.
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.
The art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one class of the citizens to give to the other.
May God defend me from my friends; I can defend myself from my enemies.
Since the whole affair had become one of religion, the vanquished were of course exterminated.
