George Carlin
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I?m just not close enough to get the job done."
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
