Fred Allen
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
[Television is] the triumph of machine over people.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference.
